An American Thanksgiving in Germany

This past Thursday was American Thanksgiving as all Americans are aware of. Of course this is not a holiday celebrated here in Germany but because we know lots of American expats and we want our children to get to experience as much of their own culture as possible while we live here, we decided to host a potluck Thanksgiving dinner here at our apartment. Last year was fairly disappointing to us on Thanksgiving when we went to a local pub that is designed for English speaking expats and was preparing a meal. However, there were very few people there and the food was sub-par to say the least. So since then, I have had it in the back of my head that I didn’t want a repeat for myself or anyone else we know of that time so I would host a proper meal.

About a month before Thanksgiving, I purchased fall themed post cards and made invitations to all the American expat couples we know here, six in all, all of who also attend our church. We were surprised (and very pleased!) when it turned out everyone we invited would be able to come, 18 people in all. The only one who couldn’t come was the wife of one couple as she was still in States following a conference earlier that week. So we planned our (little) Thanksgiving dinner for 11 adults and 7 children.

I planned to prepare the turkey, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie and everyone else who came would bring the remaining parts of the meal. The great thing about this was that it meant no one person had to do all the work. I bought two medium sized turkeys at the main grocery store in town earlier in the week. Frozen turkeys are a little harder to come by in Germany than in the States. Most are a little smaller and definitely more expensive. I ended up with about 20 pounds of turkey that cost me 30 euros which is close to 50 dollars. Totally worth it though as I think it was one of the best turkeys I have ever made. Ken and I were trying to decide if it was because they aren’t as mass grown here as in the States so maybe better treated, etc. Not sure but it was delicious and I am not really a turkey person. I had bought a full squash in mid October, cooked it and frozen some of the flesh to make the pumpkin pie with. I was a little nervous about the pie because finding the same ingredients in Germany and in a different language was a little challenging. I wasn’t sure until it finished cooking if I had even had the right milk to cook with but it turned out, thankfully, that I did.

Ken was gone the entire week before Thanksgiving, only arriving home the night before so I had spent the week alone with the kids and preparing the apartment to accommodate nearly 20 people. After taking the kids to KG that Thursday morning, we rearranged furniture to help everyone sit near each other and keep all the food together. The smell of turkey filled the apartment as we hurriedly cleaned, tidied, and put away. Despite being away from family, it made the day really seem like Thanksgiving.

Everyone started arriving shortly after 4 and we set to work re-warming all the food people were bringing so we could try to eat a hot meal. The kids were thrilled to have so many playmates at one time and the adults all enjoyed about an hour of visiting time while the food finished getting hot. That was kind of a trick because we have a very small oven so not much could go in at the same time- thank God for aluminum foil to cover and mostly keep everything warm while we waited for the rest. Most of the couples had brought wine to drink and share which was really nice. We managed to all sit down to eat at roughly the same time after feeding the kids. Everything was delicious! Most of the foods we eat in the States for Thanksgiving have quick fix options there but here we had to cook everything from scratch which I think made it all even better. We appreciated it more as we had to work harder to prepare it!

After dinner (firsts, seconds and sometimes thirds 🙂 ) a couple of us women cleared the plates and washed silverware and some other dishes in prep for dessert. We don’t have a dishwasher and our kitchen is very small so this was a fun adventure! All the desserts were delicious as well and went great with coffee a wonderful friend brought since I don’t have a coffee pot. It really felt- to me- like a traditional American Thanksgiving which was good for all of us. I always begin to feel a little homesick at this time of year and this really helped and I hope it was good for all our guests as well.

We plan to be in Germany for at least one more Thanksgiving and possibly a few more so we hope to make this a yearly celebration with all our American friends here. It’s a great way to support each other in living overseas and also to teach our kids about holidays in their own homeland.

Grocery Shopping

Grocery shopping in Germany, for me, is great exercise. Because everything is so much smaller here- I have a little kitchen with not too many cupboards, and the fridge is about half the size of an American one- I have to shop at least twice a week and sometimes more depending on the week. This is great exercise because the closest store is about a half mile away and the big store is about two miles into town. Some mornings I walk to the closer store with Noah after taking the older kids to kindergarten or we go on the bike with the trailer. The great thing about the bike with trailer is I can get more into the trailer and pull it home rather than carry it. When we get to the store, we have to lock up the bikes and our helmets (bike theft is one of the most common crimes here in Gottingen) before we go in to shop. Sometimes, depending on the time of day and Noah’s mood, I will take him into the bakery next door where they always give the kids these little balls of bread called “Kustanien brot” which is shaped and looks like kustaniens (similar to a chestnut but not edible that fall all over in the autumn and kids love to collect and play with them). One thing about grocery shopping that is different here is you have to put a coin into the shopping cart to use it and then you get it back when you return it after shopping. Great thing about this is, the parking lot is not littered with unreturned carts and it helps keep costs down because they don’t have to have employees going in and out to stock the carts throughout the day.

Most of the grocery stores are smaller here in Germany than in the US. The close one I go to the most often is probably about the size of the produce and deli departments of a Fred Meyer (best one for me to think of since I used to work there). The selection is, of course, not extensive but it works for us as a basis for our weekly shopping. One great thing about this store is it is owned by the same company as owns Trader Joes so we get lots of their products. The rest of the selection is most similar to a discount grocery store. There is also a much larger store in town, similar to a Safeway, that I have more recently started going to on a regular basis. Since I got my new bike, it has been much easier to get into town so now I can do some of my shopping there as well. Before, Ken would stop there about once a week for those food items we couldn’t get nearby. It has a much larger selection, various ethnic varieties, and isn’t very expensive- it is the most similar to an American grocery store. There is also another, much larger store, at the mall that is a lot like a Walmart where you can buy food, clothes, housewares, etc. in the same place. I don’t get there very often though because I can get what I need other places and for me, it is so easy to buy more than I need when it is available. When I used to work at Fred Meyers, I know I purchased more than I needed because it was there and convenient even though unnecessary.

The other reason I say grocery shopping is good exercise here is because you have to do everything yourself, other than ring it up. You load it all onto the conveyor belt  yourself and then into your bags. They are pretty fast, since they don’t have to put it into your bags, so I have to move quickly too. Now I know how much physical work it is to be a cashier at a grocery store. The other major difference in any shopping here in Germany is the lack of credit cards. Very few stores, pretty much only the large department stores, will take credit cards. Everywhere else is paid primarily in cash or with an EC card, the German equivalent of a debit card. The good thing about this is, we don’t buy more than we actually have the money for, something we had been working really hard to learn in the States. Now we have no choice but to live within our budget and we are much happier this way. After all this, I load it into the stroller or bike trailer and pull it home, which has added about 20 more pounds to my load. I really love that just in my everyday life, something as simple as grocery shopping has added extra exercise. Of course, it’s not as easy as just jumping in the car and driving for a few minutes when you need something but that has the added benefit of making me evaluate whether I really need that item  and saves me money if I decide I don’t.

My mom said it felt very strange to go back to the States and shop in a large store after being here for a month to visit this summer. I can imagine after doing it for three plus years, it will seem even stranger to me. I can’t even believe I would ever buy more than one gallon of milk at a time, a whole gallon seems huge to me now. I also buy flour in bags about a quarter of the size I used to, everything is in smaller portions so I guess all shopping will seem strange to me. I do miss the relaxing days of shopping I used to do with my family and look forward to maybe doing a little bit of that with my mom when she is here at Christmas.

Homesick

Well, it has been 9 months now since we moved to Germany from the States, nearly 10 months since we left Oak Harbor where we had been living for almost 7 years. We have been blessed to have a visit from my in laws but other than that and Skype video chats, we haven’t seen our friends or family from the States in a LONG time. My parents are coming to visit in about 3 weeks which has me very excited but also makes me miss them even more, just knowing they will be here soon. Added to that is the fact that I have been sick for a month and a half and Noah has been sick for a little over a week and now Micah has a cold as well. All this illness has led to a very inactive social life, the most outside conversation I have had in two weeks was with my best friend here while we were both waiting at the doctor’s office. And you know me, I am a very social person so it has been very lonely to not have anyone to talk to.

Since I had to miss church again this week because of illness, I took advantage of the fact that our Oak Harbor church puts this month’s sermons on their website so I listened while I did dishes. It was wonderful to hear Pastor Jon speak, to understand a sermon, and be encouraged and challenged in my faith. I haven’t had that experience in a long time. It also made me sad, made me wish I was sitting there in the pews surrounded by my church family that I love and miss so much. I have tried to use that sadness to pray for the church and the people it ministers to. This morning we were able to skype with our cousin and aunt in Anacortes. Samantha and Micah had been very close to her, she loved to babysit and spend time with them. I had loved having a close, encouraging relationship with her- she is so much like I was at her age. Auntie was always so encouraging to me and understanding. I really miss our family there. This past Sunday was Father’s Day and all my family in Spokane had a BBQ at my parent’s house to celebrate and I wished I was there. I am used to not being available to go to Spokane family gatherings but we always had Anacortes family to be with instead, here we have only each other. Which has strengthened our own family, our marriage and how close we all are. On the flip side, my kids see so much of each other that they fight all the time! 🙂

All of that aside though, I am really feeling much better about our lives in Germany than I was a few months ago. I am beginning to feel more comfortable with the everyday life here, I don’t get as nervous when I have to speak to someone in German as I used to. I find myself liking it here more and more as I have realized that no matter where we had moved, it would have been hard and had its own set of challenges. Anywhere we went would have been far from home, requiring a plane trip to visit. Here we have a language challenge, there we would have more of a scheduling challenge because I would have had to work. There would have been stress and hardships to adjust to because we had made Oak Harbor home and anytime you leave your home, it is hard.

Missing home has made me try to find a way to come back to visit at some point during our stay here. Up until this time, we had decided we just couldn’t afford to travel back to the States and still have any money left over to travel in Europe. And really, since we are living here, it does make sense to take advantage of that and see some of the world. But at the same time, I can’t imagine spending three years totally away from home. Home in the States where everything is familiar and comfortable, where I understand what is going on all the time. Home where my family is, my dear friends are, the life I know. So we’ll see if we can work it out. For now, we are just trying to get healthy and prepared for my parent’s visit.

Checkups

Friday the older kids had their first check ups at the doctor here in Germany. We have already been to the same doctor for Noah’s checkups and have been pleased with the care we have received. One thing that is very different here is that if you are sick, or your child is, in this case, you can simply go to the doctor and be seen in order of arrival and need. Kind of different from the States where you would be expected to have an appointment or go to the ER to be seen that day. This is great if you are the one who has a sick child who needs to be seen, not as great if you have to go the doctor with your healthy child and be around sick kids. I have a little bit of anxiety about throwing up and so when I go to the doctor and see kids sick, it makes me nervous for a few days worrying my kids are going to get sick too. But that is not the point of this post.

The appointment began much like one in the States did with taking their weights, heights and head circumference. Then they continued with Samantha where she was asked to draw a number of different kinds of pictures, then the nurse drew some and asked her answer some questions regarding the drawings. After that, she had to identify all the colors and then look at one of those “magic eye” pictures and tell us what she saw. Also, she had to answer a list of questions about what she does when she is tired, hungry, cold, etc. After this part with Samantha, we moved on to Micah where he had to look at the same “magic eye” picture, answer a few questions of his own and then I had to fill out a questionnaire about all sorts of aspects of his life. This was the most challenging part because Ken wasn’t with me and it was all in German. The nurse had to help me a lot by explaining each question a little differently, using hand motions, and the occasional English that she knew (I think she knows more than she says because she told me she lived in England for a year but I think she is just nervous to use it with a native English speaker). I still am not sure I answered everything right but when the doctor came in she didn’t seem to have any concerns about him so that’s good.

In addition to the in depth mental check up they had, there was also a very thorough physical exam. Samantha had both an eye and hearing test done; the eye test she did fine on and the hearing one showed a little problems possibly in one ear so they are going to retest her again next month when they have their pre-kindergarten visit. Something about one ear not hearing as high of a decibel as it should, I think the other ear was ok. I had lots of hearing problems as a kid though because of fluid build-up so maybe she has the same thing. They of course had the normal checking their hearts, ears, throats, blood pressures. Then she checked to see what they could do physically.

They were both asked to throw a stuffed animal to her, then catch it when she threw it to them. They had to jump on one foot, balance on one foot, walk a line across the floor, I was surprised by how involved it was. I think most of it was only necessary for Samantha but of course Micah wanted to do everything she did so the doctor went along with it well. She also had Samantha stand up straight in front of her and then lean over to check the straightness of her back. Then she had to stand on her tip toes and then back flat on her feet. The doctor said this was to check the way her hips face or something and Samantha’s were not just right. So she recommended having her sit cross legged and said that a lot of the playing and circle times at kindergarten should help strengthen those muscles and correct itself. If not by her next yearly exam, she would recommend some special shoes to help her out.

While we absolutely LOVED our pediatrician in Oak Harbor (in fact, he is one of the things I miss most about living there because he was so helpful and encouraging as a parent), I was very impressed by the extent of concern the medical system takes in making sure children are developing and growing properly and are prepared to give them the intervention needed right away. Even though they are very busy, close attention was paid to ensure our children were where they should be and that made me feel good.

We finished our morning out to the doctor’s with a stop at the ice cream shop next door and played at the playground by our apartment when we got home. By then, I was very tired as I am still recovering from being sick myself so we came in for lunch to rest.

A Morning Jog

Today was the 9th morning I went running along the river in the morning in my attempt to better my health and reclaim my pre-baby body (ok, I know everything won’t go back where it started but hey- I can try!). It is a beautiful day, already mostly clear and sunny and not too cold- the perfect kind of day for a run. And yet, I only passed one other runner during the entire 25 minutes I was outside. This got me thinking because this is the kind of morning in the States, especially in a college town, that would have lots of people lacing up their shoes to get some exercise. I think Germans have a very different perspective on exercise because it is so built into their daily lives, it isn’t something as necessary to go out and do with a purpose. Although I only passed one other runner, I did see at least 20 people on their bikes commuting to work, school, wherever it was they had to go.

In Germany, there seems to be a lot less problems with obesity; I don’t notice nearly as many overweight people here as I did in the States (sorry to say, because I struggle with my own weight so much, it is something I do take notice of). This is something I was really looking forward to about coming to Germany, having built in exercise into my daily life and I have been pleased with how it has made my body look and mostly, feel. I am stronger than I have ever been and in better shape than I have been in since high school. When we first moved here, Noah was about 6 weeks old and I had lost about 28 pounds of the weight I had gained with him so I had about 10 more to go to be back where I was when I got pregnant with him. Since arriving here, I have lost almost 15 pounds and in 8 more, I will be back where I was before Sam.  And yet, it’s only been in the last two weeks that I have actively started running again and that has mostly been for a little “me” time and to further encourage heart health (surprisingly at a young age, I have had cholesterol problems already). I love walking everywhere or riding my bike when the situation allows and climbing the 3 flights of stairs to our apartment every day.

Soon, when Samantha and Micah go to Kindergarten, I will have even more opportunity for daily exercise when I walk them to and from school every day (about a 10 min walk with kids). That is another great thing about exercise here. I notice children really playing here, lots more than in America. Even though there is TV, DVDs and video games available here, it is not nearly as common as in the States which have prompted us to further reduce the kids DVD time and encourage creative play. Germans really focus on play at a young age and learning when they are older, allowing children to grow and develop at their own pace. This seems to really encourage an active lifestyle from the start which is really important and hopefully will carry on with them into adulthood, even after we have returned to the States.

6 months

Today is March 21st which marks the sixth month anniversary of the day we arrived in Germany. This big date has me thinking, of course, of all the major changes that have occurred in our family in such a short time. It’s hard to believe that one sixth of our expected time here is already over. Truthfully, the last six months have been harder for me personally than any other time in my  life. Harder than the year I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, harder than the first year of college, harder than the nearly two years we spent trying to conceive and then the first months of Samantha’s life when she cried all the time, harder than saying goodbye to our past lives.

I thought, before I came here and like most Americans, that Europe was this amazing, sort of romantic place to live and that our lives would be full of interesting things going on. The truth is, in many ways, living here is (for us) a lot like our lives were in the States. This is still just a place to live like anywhere else in the world. We still have kids to take care of, laundry to do, dishes to wash, groceries to be purchased. The manner in which we accomplish all of these tasks is, of course, different here but the necessity is still there. So I thought it would be significant for me to think about how our lives have changed and reflect on what I miss about the States and what I have embraced and love here. Forgive me if this not as interesting of a post but I think the process is important for me.

At home I miss:

~family

~friends

~sleeping (but I have a baby, what can I expect right?)

~dishwasher

~clothes dryer

~TV (ok, I know this is silly but it relaxed me at the end of the day)

~understanding what people are saying to me when I am out (but that is improving daily and is much better than when we first arrived)

~consistent routine

~work (not really work itself but getting out for a little “me” time)

~microwave

~being able to pick up the phone and call family whenever I want (9 hours difference is hard!)

~the ease of getting books (in English) to read

Here I love:

~being home with the kids

~cooking our meals more from scratch and eating “real” food rather than as many prepared products

~the playgrounds

~cloth diapers

~being more energy conscious

~walking or biking most places we go

~our church

~our friends

~my kitchen! 🙂

~medical system

~public transportation

~the challenge of a new language to learn

~recycling

I am sure there are more things I could add to either list but at the moment, this is all that comes to mind. Looking back, my list for what I missed was way longer a few months ago and what I loved much shorter. Being an expat mom is tough, much tougher than a stay at home mom in the States was. God is good though, and has really brought me to a place of happiness and contentment to be here. Eight years ago when Ken and I got married, I never would have imagine living in Germany with 3 kids while he did a PhD but here we are! I look forward to the years ahead and seeing what God has in store for our family.